Many of my clients are single ladies – increasingly they are happy to stay that way – perhaps they are ‘silver splitters’* burned by a difficult divorce or simply women who, either long term, or perhaps just for the time being, prefer the company of friends and family to having a romantic or platonic companion.
Without exception when I visit their homes, either in person or via an online consultation, these women have ‘single’ imagery. I’ve chosen human subjects here, but I’m just as likely to find a picture of a single cat, elephant, dog, dragon and briefly a pig. Some of the single woman pictures in the montage above came from client’s homes.
Now, if you are content with your choice to be single and stay single, that’s great. You can safely place these images in Feng Shui areas relating to Relationships and even Knowledge and Spirituality, especially if you feel your inner strength comes from your divine feminine energy.
However, when you place these singleton images in the Feng Shui areas relating to Wealth, Career, Health, Helpful Friends, New Beginnings or Family you’re effectively saying ‘I’m fine on my own’. ‘I don’t need anyone else in my life’, ‘I don’t need help’ and ‘leave me alone’
But the fact is, you DO need other people to support you in these areas and with your unfortunate choice of single images you are pushing them away energetically. You are giving your friends, family, colleagues and the professionals who support you a big, two fingered salute and symbolically turning your back on them.
So in essence, you shouldn’t be surprised if there is no one around to support you when your physical, mental or emotional health suffers… You’re on your own.
Or perhaps you have money problems, experience financial challenges, lose investment capital, experience fraud or theft of your resources… You’re on your own.
Your family is unsupportive or distance themselves physically or emotionally…. You’re on your own.
Your friends drift away, let you down or simply aren’t as close as they used to be…. You’re on your own.
Every time you start something new, a project, a plan, you don’t get the support you need to make it happen smoothly and easily – You’re on your own.
Finally and most relevantly if you define yourself by your job title, your career stalls, contracts end suddenly, the people around you are unhelpful, bullying or inconsiderate. You miss the promotion, your team stab you in the back. The company restructures to your cost or redundancy looms. It’s tough to find a new job which feels right for you – even if you have an abundance of interviews, an excellent CV and superb experience on offer, they appoint someone else… You’re on your own and for the first time in your life no one has your back.
Put baldly, it feels as though the world has turned its back and the only person you can rely on is yourself.
So you have more to complain about, more reasons to feel resentful, you feel lonely, let down, and see only your own perspective on any situation. You get so used to self reliance that any outstretched hand of kindness is slapped away.
Once you are entrenched in this isolated world you have created for yourself, it’s hard to acknowledge any personal responsibility. It has to be someone else’s fault right because you have done nothing, NOTHING to deserve this. And that’s how you will see it – always in black and white, always saying ‘No’ if someone challenges your choices, because the only frame of reference you have available to refer to is your lonesome self.
So if this is you and you are able to acknowledge things have deteriorated and you dislike the ‘Me vs The World’ pickle you’re in right now, my advice is to ruthlessly check your home for single images. I don’t care if they are human, animal, a solitary tree or a mountain rising from a plain or anything else you find. They can be on cards, paintings, wall art, sculpture, lamps. You can see them sneakily mocking you on mugs, calendars, note books even (please tell me you don’t have them) fridge magnets.
The most I’ve counted in the small home of one client was 72, but feel free to let me know if you can tally more than that!
Don’t be too hard on yourself for this motley and damaging collection. Not only will you have been drawn to more solitary images as your single energy grew, your friends and family will have unwittingly given you more in the form of birthday cards, t-shirts, jewellery and a variety of other gifts you now feel guilty about parting with.
I’m asking you to ditch the guilt, evaporate the emotional attachment and get rid of them. If you can’t bear to part with them quite yet, at least put them away out of sight for a minimum of six weeks and see how the energy around you alters.
Although this article is aimed at women because they are the ones most likely to acquire and display a multitude of single images, my client base is pretty much split 50/50 across the genders. If you are a man experiencing a similar impact on your life then follow the same steps to resolve your situation and get the right people around you.
As ever, I offer a free 15 minute video consultation to look around your home if your life isn’t going the way you want it to. Contact me at www.clutterfree.coach/contact for more information.
*Figures published in August 2019 by the Office for National Statistics (ONS) reveal people aged 45 to 64, and 65 to 74 have experienced the largest increases in living alone in recent years.
Family lawyers put this down to the rising number of couples deciding to divorce in older age, a phenomenon known as the ‘silver splitters’.